New Years Resolution

So the world hasn't ended (LOL) and 2013 is upon us. Time to break out the resolutions!  Honestly, I've never been much of a resolution-maker.  Guess I witnessed enough folks make and break the same ones by Feb 1st that I didn't see a lot of merit in it.  (Not to mention how crowded the gym gets for about 6 weeks--but then most seem to go back to their old ways.)  Don't see a lot of point in that, personally.  So I tend to just pick a day and make a plan when I'm wanting to change something about my life.  I don't always succeed, but it rarely correlates to the start of a year.  Well, this year is different.  God has laid something so significant on my heart--with such power to improve my life and the lives of those around me, that I want to full fledge make a declaration. I need the accountability.

So here it is:  I resolve to be less offended...less sensitive...less apt to take the actions (or lack of actions) on the part of others as a personal attack. 

I resolve instead to try to figure out what might be going on that's causing them to do what they do.  Maybe that guy that cut me off in traffic is going thru a painful divorce--meaning he's either lost in thought and didn't notice me or is so angry at his circumstances that his ego needed the boost of getting ahead of a mini-van before the lanes merged. Maybe that family member who seems to want nothing to do with me or my loved ones is hurting financially, worried about their job, and living such a complex reality that I don't even hit their radar right now.  Maybe that co-worker that just bit my head off is in an abusive relationship, is wondering if she may have just crossed the line to being an alcoholic, and feels like she has nowhere to turn.  The point isn't that I know the story behind their actions--the point is that I acknowledge something beyond myself is fueling their behavior.  Recently I've found myself doing it more--but need to work on doing it immediately rather than days later after having fumed over it.

There are two men in my life who have been amazing examples of how to do this.  The first was my Dad.  It used to annoy me to see how readily he offered people the benefit of the doubt.  But as I've gotten older, I've come to find his perspective endearing and wise.  The second was my Husband.  I watched as he endured some of the harshest persecution I've ever witnessed.  It angered him, but he practiced restraint and never seemed to bite back.  Within a surprisingly short period of time, his heart would soften toward the offenders.  Then he prayed for them, forgave them, and asked nothing in return.  He spoke often of how he wished for their happiness and well-being, even going as far as to find any merit which might have been behind their motives.  He seemed to feel his feelings, but I can't ever say I witnessed him fume.  He just did the right thing and put his trust in God to work things out in His timing--exhibiting amazing patience and humility.

There are also some people in my life who have, unwittingly, acted as the catalyst for testing how easily I would get offended.  The type of people who can't be pleased, who cross boundaries every few minutes without regard for anyone but themselves--and while you're reeling from shock at what they've just done, they find multiple reasons to be offended, themselves. NOT fun times. And yet, their attitudes were the absolute best wake-up call for what I could become if I didn't curb my own ability to be offended. So strangely, I've found myself thankful for them.

But the straw that broke the camel's back came just a few days ago. I can't share the details, but I can paint an emotional picture of sorts. Who is that one person you'd just rather not be around? Maybe someone betrayed you years ago. Maybe they hurt you--physically or emotionally or in any number of significant ways. Sadly, we can all think of someone who meets that discription. Now picture walking out your front door to check the mail one day, noticing a moving truck next door, and seeing that person's face emerge from the driver's seat. The person you least want close to you has just moved in next door. You can't afford to move right now, even if you could, the housing market is horrible, and besides--you LOVE your house, your yard, your other neighbors, the location, etc. In short, you feel like you've been invaded. That about sums up where I was. But over the course of a couple days, God pointed out to me that I had no reason to feel that way. I'd supposedly forgiven the person and, uncomfortable as it may be, I could bear "living next door" to them. This was just my opportunity to affirm--to myself and others--that I had, in fact, forgiven.

This opened a door somewhere in my heart. As a fuming thought came thru my mind about them, I realized I had a choice as to whether I entertained it. Then, when a family member slighted me, I realized I had a choice as to whether I felt offended. It's having this amazing potential for a domino effect. I don't have to hope I won't interact with such people. I don't have to wait in vain for the day they realize what they've done. I don't have to fume. I can forgive. I can move on. I can have peace. If I've done something to cause the situation, I can ask for their forgiveness as well; but if I haven't, there's nothing for me to do but trust God with it. The freedom this offers overwhelms and convicts my bitter spirit.

Are you fuming over something that's happened to you? Over someone who's hurt you? Is it robbing you of the ability to find peace? If so, I'd encourage you to join me in my first real New Years Resolution. Share what God teaches you in the midst of it. We can be each others' encouragement. Because the world will never stop offending us, but I'm now convinced there's a way to live peacefully in the midst of it. That's what I resolve to do.

What He Isn't

I'm amazed at the world we live in.  In light of recent events, I don't even have to name the tragedies and complexities off--you already know.  And your heart is probably heavy with it at times, just as mine is.  But what amazes me most is how God is portrayed in the midst of it.  Do I have an accurate picture of Him?  Hardly.  I grasp for what pixels I can just as much as the next person.  But I'm continually heart-sick to hear some of the ways He's portrayed.  That's just not the God I know--far from it.  So much as I'd struggle to provide anything close to an accurate picture of who He is, I'd at least like to take a stab at a list of things I know in my heart He ISN'T.  Feel free to add to it:

1)  He's not distant.  He doesn't prioritize our individual problems in light of the massive ones.  He doesn't say "Geez, would you quit worrying about trying to fit into that dress before your friend's wedding?  I'm dealing with a zealous crowd of protestors that are about to get violent!" He cares about what we care about--even if we care about it for silly, human reasons.  If it's on our hearts, He cares--because our hearts are what He cares for most.

2)  He's not a harsh, perfectionist judge.  He's not sitting behind some heavenly pulpit, waiting for us to mess up again so He can smash down His gavel on the 3rd strike.  He's patient.  He's there to comfort us when we fall.  He knows that our acknowleding our downfall can hurt as much as the natural consequences that follow.  He never expects perfection--He only expects us to lean on Him.

3)  He doesn't operate off of a checklist.  I feel like Jesus made this clear in scripture when He spoke to or about the pharisees.  Dressing a certain way, being involved (or not involved) in certain activities, and making sure you showed up at church "every time the doors opened" didn't seem to be very high on His priority list. When asked for His list, LOVE is what ranked at the top--not a plethora of do's and don'ts.

If a person (or group of people) have managed to portray God as something less than love--someone whose standards you could never live up to, whose rules you couldn't possibly follow, whose character you could never relate to, my friend, that's just not the God I know.  And if someone has hurt you in the name of Christ, please accept my apology on their behalf.  We imperfect human beings can do one heck of a bad job of portraying a loving, perfect Father.  Much as I pray my actions would help show who He truly is, I'd be scared stiff to think my actions could have the power to represent whether He is who He says He is--because I'm GOING to mess up, I guarantee it.

Maybe a church hurt you.  Maybe a group of not-so-Christlike Christians made you feel like you ranked low because you didn't succumb to their rules and standards for righteousness.  If that describes you, try bypassing the whole lot of us for a while. Go straight to Him. Ask HIM to show you who He is.  And take the rest of us--your fellow human beings--with a grain of salt.  He truly is LOVE--not in a way we'll ever fully understand, not in a cliche "the world will be roses" way, but in a way that gives peace to those who truly seek it.  Have I found that peace?  I'm afraid not...but I feel sprinkles of it here and there.  Enough to keep me looking for it again the next day.  I've seen it bigger in the eyes of those I look up to the most, so I know He can make it grow.  He's patient enough to show us.  And that's the God I know.